I don’t think I will ever understand the luck factor of life. Where you are born determines the series of events that take over your life. Lately, I have been seeing videos on my phone that I would have thought would only be that of a tragic film. A genocide being documented on social media, people like you and I recording themselves begging for us to believe that they need help, that they are worthy of help. It still does not make sense to me that this is the reality that I wake up to every day, such violence and hate that punishes people who deserve peace, freedom, and a chance of life that we should expect. I never knew the world was so cruel, how lucky, and naive I have been up until now.
My father is from Palestine, making me half Palestinian, and although I have never been, I am full of pieces of Palestine. My dad took time to tell me stories of the beautiful place that made his eyes glisten when telling me, “and I can’t wait to show you a free Palestine,” I was told from when I was small. Today I am counting 410 days since Palestine has been facing a genocide. People have been stripped from their homes, families, and lives, and it is being broadcasted by them in front of our eyes. We are seeing children being martyred, journalists being slaughtered, and more horrific, unimaginable tortuous events, and we are seeing people ‘debate’ whether it is worth caring about.
I watch videos of people suffering from my bed and then turn my phone off. I feel so much guilt in that, but I feel so incredibly helpless about my part in it all. I cannot help but admit that I have thought about what life would be like if I was not privileged enough to be given options, it could have been me stuck, though that is not my reason for being empathetic it puts it into perspective how lucky we are being the ones able to put our phone down.
You can donate money, share posts, engage with content, and spread awareness, but nothing will be able to reverse the trauma of the survivors. They are watching everyone, everything, and everywhere they know be brutally snatched from them while they are completely helpless.
I have told everyone I know about the boycott (see the link below for a list of companies to boycott), and I cannot understand not adhering to this list, is that what we have come to? Over – consuming selfish habits that are aiding the mass murdering of the Palestinian people. I am riddled with guilt when I go on a winter walk and return to my flat or when I drink so much coffee that I am attacked by anxiety; I cannot imagine the mental torture that innocent people are undergoing. I am sorry on behalf of the society I am a part of.
There is something interesting about being a bystander who feels the weight of the world heavily. Suddenly, my barista job seems to be less important, and doing chores seems like a luxury, I do understand that I am one of a lot of people concerned about the direction of the world at the moment. I hope that soon, each of us individually talks to our friends and our co-workers about our worries and fears and begin to build a community of people who want change and demand it, rather than attempt to deny reality. Although I may seem angry, I feel passionate and desperate for a more hopeful future. From a girl who gets overwhelmed by organising her week, ignorance is tempting to enjoy a more peaceful existence, but I want to try to feel less like a bystander even it starts by just writing an article.
Written by: Lana Al Jayouchi
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